A new mom

You would think I would have it down, after all I have two older ones. But never before have I been a mom to three small children. The family dynamics have changed greatly.

First, I forgot how time consuming breast feeding is, but I love it and have not had any problems. My 2nd Jasey was BF for only 5 months before I got extremely sick and had to stop due to the medication. I am so grateful not having to buy formula (expensive), worry about heating water (a pain), waking up in the middle of the night to make a bottle (tiring) and of course the extra dishes (ugh) the best thing is that breast milk DOES NOT SMELL!!!! I couldn't stand the smell of formula. I love always having it with me, ready, warm and clean. I love snuggling with my tiny when he wakes for his morning feeding.
Yet, I didn't anticipate my 5 year old telling his whole class the baby eats my boobs. Nor, did I anticipate his sudden interest in all boobs. We are suddenly fielding questions, "mom why don't you have bug boobs", "can I see?", "What does it taste like?", "can daddy do it?" Can Grandma,Aunt or female friend feed the baby?" Why do you have milk and they don't?" it goes on and on followed by a shy smile and giggles.
My 3 year old daughter has taken this issue in stride and is found many times sitting on the sofa with her doll up her shirt just nursing she says. I have heard her tell her brother several times "C.J. go get me that I'm feeding the baby." as she nurses her pretend baby. I hope I don't always sound so demanding from my feeding spot. LOL!!

When I say the family dynamic has changed I really mean it. My loving passive, gentle 3 year old has suddenly turned into a trying three year old. Dramatic, demanding, whiny, emotional and suffering from being thrust into the middle child position. Not big enough to do everything big brother does, but to big to be a baby. I am trying very hard to counter this with patience and several new activities she an I can do together. I got her a preschool book, because she likes to do homework like big brother. She got an easel to paint her pretty pictures and we emphasize how Alex is too tiny to do something so cool. She has also reverted to climbing into our bed almost every night. Honestly I don't mind a bit, we brought another bed into our room and pushed it up against ours. It works for us and feels right.

I feel busier than ever, but I truly love it. I have finely found my groove. Not parenting in any which way but my own. Doing what is best for MY kids.