Mommy Confessions

Parenting isn't a competition, and shouldn't be treated so. As mothers we shouldn't be judging one another or critical. Parenthood is more then just doing it by the book, it's about raising wonderful human beings and making memories along the way.

~  I use fruit snacks to help my kids wait patiently in tough situations such as the dr.s office.

~  Sometimes I skip bath night.

~  I let my daughter color her white blond hair with markers knowing they were washable, so I could sit in silence for 10 minutes.

~ I use movies for rest time.

~  I have been known to bribe my kids from time to time.

~  Sometimes, we stay up too late.

~ Sometimes, we sleep too late.

But, at the end of the day. I love my kids more then life itself. I've learned my kids shouldn't be made to fit life's schedule, but schedule life to fit the kids.

I made a memory today.

I didn't do any vacuuming, I let the laundry go,
Instead... I went shopping with my family.

I didn't make the beds, or clean up the playroom.
Instead... I spent a couple hours play a video game  with my son.

I didn't really cook, or take out the trash.
Instead...my daughter and I made home made play-doh.

I didn't sweep or mop, or clean the tub.
I kissed a sweet baby face and listened to him laugh.

I didn't do any of the things, I normally do.
But... today I made memories.

From the mouth of my five year old...today

"Mom, an earring would make me look tough!"

"I could take you down... I know Kung Fu."
       (to another child)

"I tried to to hit the toilet, really!"

"Mom, I'm gonna live at home forever."

"Yeah... I have 4 girl-friends."

"Look at me...(dances) I'm sexy and I know it."

"Mom, how come I only have one dad, ____ has two!"

"How did Alex get in your belly? Mrs_____ has a big belly, but she said there was no baby in it."

"Mom, guess what? I farted."
          (laughs hysterically)

Cloth diapering

  I swore I would cloth diaper our 3rd child. I felt over whelming guilt when I didn't...at first. At the hospital it's easier to use disposables, as I didn't have access to a washer and that black tar poop is crazy sticky. When we arrived home I was saddened and slightly relieved that I had to use disposables because the cloth diapers were to big. My son was 7lbs 5 ounces and the diapers on their smallest setting were way too big.
  Tip #1- It's worth it to buy newborn diapers or find a brand that runs tiny,like for me, thirsties. Like you, other moms will need these tiny ones in the first months, making them very easy to resell.
   When Alex was 2 months old I looked at my stack of brand new cloth diapers and felt the guilt settle in my stomach like a rock. I grabbed one determined to try it because after all I spent all this money. It took some practice, finding the right rise setting, the right waist setting. every brand is different. I had an old Rubbermaid with a lid I decided to use that for my diaper pail. I thought I'll try these at home ONLY. I didn't tell any one when I started, I was afraid to fail. After a couple days I found my groove and was madly deeply in love. However, I was only a part time clother, one who cloth diapers only part of the time.
  Tip #2- No one said it was all or nothing. Start out as slowly or as fast as you feel comfortable. Don't want to cloth in public, THATS OKAY, don't want to cloth at night, THATS OKAY. 
  Once I discovered that it wasn't an all or nothing. The pressure melted off. I was able to play around, practice my folds on my prefolds, try different detergent, hang dry vs dryer. When Alex wasn't brand new, and after my family had a chance to find our routine, cloth diapering didn't seem so daunting. Slowly I began telling people starting with my husband...
  Tip #3- Have faith in you spouse. if they seem hesitant, it's because they are either intimidated because cloth is not the norm, or they are worried you will be over whelmed by the extra work. 
  My honey has turned out to be the most supportive person in my life. No one could tell a difference when I used cloth, until I told them. I found that many people had a very out dated idea of what cloth diapering was. It wasn't that they didn't want to be supportive they honestly thought I was talking about safety pins and such.
  I wish I could have found more cloth diapering moms willing to indulge my interest. It was daunting making this decision, without ever seeing the product on a child.  Youtube, has many reviews and demos regarding cloth.
 Tip #4- Try one of each. I was sold on the AIO's but have quickly fallen in love with the prefolds with a cover. 
 Tip #5- You don't need all the cute accessories. I used plastic store bags, until I got a wet bag, I have had lots of success with certain popular detergents and haven't needed to order any. 

  I love cloth diapering, it's easy and simple. I love not having to spend 15-25 dollars every other week for a box of diapers. I rarely use disposables, I would say I use cloth 95% of the time. My only wish was that I had started with my 1st.

Living Green

Green living, honestly I'm pretty proud with how green we are. I buy organic whenever possible. We recycle, buy used,  and re-use what we can.

Consignment stores- I just discovered, a  few of the consignment stores locally. I'm in love! I love being able to save money while buying my kids the things they need. Shop at locally owned businesses, that in turn provide families with some extra income. Also another form of recycling.

 Reuse- I also wash and reuse items normally thrown away. Straws, plastic sandwich bags, and plastic utensils all of which I wash by hand and never microwave. These items I use all the time in C.J. and Chris's lunches. We also wash out glass jars some are used as glasses, others are saved for when I make homemade candles. Others are recycled.

Breastfeeding- I include this because by breastfeeding I don't have to buy formula thus cutting down on waste. (This is a personal decision and not a judgment.)

Cloth Diapering- I am proud to say we are cloth diapering, it took about 6 weeks for him to get big enough so that they would fit well. I still use disposables when someone else is watching him, when we are gone for a long time, or staying overnight at houses that prefer we don't use their machine to wash the diapers in.

Homemade Baby Food- I received a baby Bullet for my baby shower and am loving it. I have only played with it as Alex is still very young. I personally think the taste difference between store bought and homemade is amazing. Plus, I save money and am not throwing away more plastic.

Recycling- We recycle plastic, cardboard and paper at our local Wal-mart. They have free recycling roll offs. I also recycle cans at our local City Market.

Composting- We have a composter in the back yard. So, all of our left over or scrap pieces of fruits and veggies go in there.

 I try to be conscientious about the things we use, like dish towels instead of paper towels. Reusable shopping bags instead of plastic. Hang drying instead of dryer, unplugging unused electronics etc...

Thankful

 Today, Alex got his 4 month shots. He cried, but honestly been in a great mood this afternoon. He is very healthy, his head is in the 99%! Daddy jokes and calls him pack-man, because he is all head. I proudly showed the Dr. all his rolls, told him everything he can do. Described our day, our Dr. is amazing and very supportive of everything I do.
 This afternoon, he was cuddly, giggling at his toes. He has learned to reach for me and recognizes my face. He has his dad's blue eyes. Now, he sleeps for the night.
 I look at him and am so thankful. He was meant to be.

My friends are adopting a little girl from Bulgaria, she is 14 years old and only weighs 14 lbs. My heart aches for her and other children in her situation.  

I look at my 4 month old who weighs 15 1/2 pounds. He weighs more than that poor child. I am suddenly so grateful for everything we have.

A challenge

I have heard of people who don't have a microwave and I admire them. I know they are eating healthier and using less electricity. However, I never thought I could do it, until ours broke.

I have no choice. We are microwave less. I know we can do it. It's exciting to see what life will be like. I plan on using the oven to reheat leftovers, use my teapot for tea, a pan to melt butter for baking and heating milk for hot chocolate.

I wonder if I will see a change in our electric bill.

Schooling Part 4: What if he doesn't want to learn?

 The second biggest concern I hear is, What if he doesn't want to learn? I feel this isn't a home school concern rather than a teaching concern. I counter with " What guarantees he will learn at school?" Nothing.
 We place our children in the public school system with the belief that they are professionals, thus my child will learn. This is a very deep and complicated topic. First, what classes does a teacher take that prepares them to teach, UCCS, list all their required classes to obtain a teaching degree. Second, what is your child's learning style? How does the school teach? Rather then jumping onto another tangent let me list how I will encourage my child to learn.

1) Adaptation, I will be able to adapt the subjects and teach in accordance to my son's learning style.
2) Because we won't move ahead until a concept is grasped, there is no falling behind and thus no frustration or embarrassment from struggling.
3) We will be able to deviate and elaborate on subjects of interest for example;While painting for art, we discuss artist, then have an impromptu trip to an art museum.
4) I will have flexibility  to teach or not to teach, I'm not stuck in a 8-3 time frame. If he was up the previous night with nightmares= let him sleep 1 hour longer. Its the first sunny day in 2 weeks so we play outside= do school that evening. Thus, less cabin fever,less burnout, irritability, and stress.

 If by some off chance he absolutely refuses, and it becomes a battle of the wills. Then further behavior modifying actions will be taken.Keeping  in mind "battles of will" can occur over ANYTHING. This behavior is NOT a conclusive sign that the thing the battle is over, is wrong. However, he enjoys having fun and learning while doing so. I do not for see this being a problem.

Schooling Part 3: Knowing what to teach

 One of the main concerns people have voiced to me about home schooling is how will I know what to teach? First, there are state objectives for each grade level that can be found at the Colorado Department of Education. Second, when buying textbooks many if not all come with teacher's guides that contain, discussion points, activity's, worksheets, additional related resources, songs, etc... Some curriculum even includes step by step conversations to guide you for example: The Calender from Saxon Math 2

  
"Yesterday was the ______of (month)."
- Point to the date.
" What do you think today's date is?
"How will we write the _____th?"
- Write the date on the calender.
" What day of the week is it today?"
"Let's read the days of the week together."

  Thirdly, many young children love to learn. Many teaching cues can be taken from the child them self, for example, If your child comes to you and asks, "What comes after Tuesday?" You can then sit down and present a calender, pointing to the days while singing the days of the week song. Then continuing onto months, while again singing the months song. The child can then practice the above introduced concepts, by locating special holidays,their own birthday, family birthdays.

  I already am a firm believer of child inspired learning. By elaborating on subjects of interest they themselves present. When my son was suddenly interested in the army, we went to the library used computer skills to search for army books, learned how to find the books, exercised proper etiquette while waiting in line and checking out, we read about the army, googled the history of certain weapons that captivated him (AK-47), this turned into a discussion of war and why people fight (sociology/psychology) we referenced world war 2 and got out maps to locate Germany, Austria,Poland and Russia (geography). We discussed Hitler and even read a couple facts about WW2 (after all he's 5, this covered History).
  When my son and daughter want an item in the store (mom makes sure it's under $5 before saying yes) I talk with them about the numbers on the price tag and what amount that means. We then agree we can earn this item. At home when our sticker sheet is full, that child is then given that amount rounded up to the nearest dollar in a mixture of dollars and cents. I then help them identify the coins and the amounts they stand for (counting), we go to the store and see if we have enough money (greater than/less than). Often when doing this I can incorporate adding, subtracting, fractions into this.

  For us, I consulted the state grade objectives and goals, I read many educational and child development articles. I talked to other parents about what their kids were learning. I also talked to teachers and asked about their daily schedule, so then I could see just how much time was spent on each subject.. I then constructed a list of what I want my son to accomplish by the end of the 1st grade. I then developed this further into different subjects and using my goals searched for curriculum directly in line with my desires.

Schooling Part 2

Upon deciding to home school, we went about researching Colorado Law regarding the issue. The law in not so many words states that every child that home schools is required to register as a home school student with their local school district and receive standardized tests at grades 3,5,7,9 and 11. Students are also required to have 172 days of school 4 hours each day. We are simply following our local school districts calender. I personally think these requirements are great, they prevent kids from falling through the gaps. As long as your child scores higher than the lowest 13% the state says you can continue to home school, considering state CTAP scores show roughly 40% of kids are not even at grade level, as long as your kid performs at grade level your fine.

We have decided to focus primarily on Math, Reading/Writing and English for his 1st grade year. We will also study Science, History and Piano, but not daily, most likely every other day.  I spent a ton of time on Amazon and CBD researching curriculum looking for what would suit our needs and teach my son best using his hands on learning style. There are home school curriculum fairs you can go to and see things hands on, however I myself was home schooled so I am very familiar with certain brands, because I or my friends used them.

Home schooling is the best choice for our family because of our personal beliefs and parenting styles. The reasons why this is the best choice for our family are as follows: (1) Cost, private schools usually run about $500 a month per student not including registration fees, class fees etc... (2) Higher standers, we hold higher standards for our children regarding their performance. We strive to teach our children to be the best they can be at whatever they are doing. (3) Family, we are not morning people and trying to get out the door by 7 am has cut into family time greatly. My husband works a great deal of overtime and in trying to get my kids to bed early enough they were never seeing their dad or for only brief periods.(4) Personal beliefs, we are choosing to not teach certain things to our kids that we personally feel are not morally right and are choosing to include things that we feel are important. (I will elaborate later on this point) (5) Finally, we are able to be flexible to our children's needs and adjust the curriculum according to their interests and or learning styles.

The Cons:
  I personally feel their are very few cons, but society and many people I know keep addressing what they consider concerns so I will identify these concerns here and then elaborate in further posts.

(1) How will you know what to teach him?
(2) What if he doesn't want to learn?
        And the biggest concern
(3) Socializing- How will he make friends, solve problems, react to other adults etc...

If there are concerns or questions you would like to see addressed please comment and I will include them in the next post.