Dr. Phil show

I just watched the Dr. Phil show about mommy confessions. I was in tears. The way this mom was choosing to discipline her 7 yr old son was appalling. Holding hot sauce in your mouth, forced to take freezing cold showers, jumping jacks, wall sits. This is too much. I do understand that she was frustrated. It is hard when you feel like you are trying everything and your child just won't listen.

I have a "strong-willed" child. He pushes my buttons, he's not fazed by most discipline. Its hard not to feel like a failure when your trying and trying and nothing is working. First you need to realize not all children are the same, what worked for one may not work for the other. Second, it is so important to keep your cool. Thirdly, parents should educate themselves on child development so you are sure your expectations are realistic. Fourth, never hurt a child!!!!!! Fifth, after the time out or scolding there needs to be a come together time to cuddle and hug. To tell your child that you love them so much and are trying very hard to teach them what is right and wrong.

The biggest thing that helped me was someone pointing out that my son has FREE WILL, sometimes he just chooses to make bad choices, through no fault of my own. I try very very hard to not think of things as failures but as temporary set backs. I could never imagine hurting my child I feel horrible for just raising my voice. There are things we do to curb problems in our house.

1) Eliminate caffeine.
2) Make sure they are getting enough PROPER rest.
3) Make enough time for physical activities.
4) I recognize certain times are very trying for kids, so I try to plan things around them.
5) We talk about what is expected and lay down rules, before they are expected to follow them.
6) We have sticker charts to reward good behavior.
7) We let the kids have choices in there behavior, while firming stating the consequence. "If you are going to choose to hit, you won't be allowed to play with us."
8) We recognize desired behavior. "I like it when you share, it makes me want to play with you again."

I wish I could say I was a perfect parent, but I'm not. Every day I just wake up and try my best.

Most importantly, if you ever feel like your loosing your cool, ask for help. Call a friend to come over or drop your kids off with some one. Or just stop everything and sit on the floor, pull them into your lap and just rock and hug. Nothing is so important then your children being safe.